


i'm not leaving.

by survivalinstinctvalkyria



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Know Either, M/M, au where they're essentially guinea pigs at a lab, might bump the rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 10:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21252077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/survivalinstinctvalkyria/pseuds/survivalinstinctvalkyria
Summary: "Nothing in The Hospital feels clean anymore. What was once a completely sterilized building with walls of stark white is stenched with grime. Dirt has started building up on the walls, making individual hallways indiscernible. Not like it matters — in every room a cot, some cabinets, and a corpse-like child is there to be found. Neither flowers nor food are present to relieve The Hospital of its pungent odor, a mix of dirt, medicine, and blood."-or: Keito and Eichi find each other, and they aren't alone anymore.





	i'm not leaving.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sleep deprived so this isn't formatted or edited
> 
> When I first saw the cards, I was originally going to do zombies who eat each other to sustain themselves but then realized that could count as vore or cannibalism.
> 
> This is kind of shitty but I feel like I'm about to throw up so I don't care anymore. Made Eichi shorter because this is my au and I can do what I want.

Nothing in The Hospital feels clean anymore. What was once a completely sterilized building with walls of stark white is stenched with grime. Dirt has started building up on the walls, making individual hallways indiscernible. Not like it matters — in every room a cot, some cabinets, and a corpse-like child is there to be found. Neither flowers nor food are present to relieve The Hospital of its pungent odor, a mix of dirt, medicine, and blood.

A ten year old boy skulks through the hallway silently, only the rustle of his clothing can be heard. He can't say what time it is, there are no windows as far as he can see, and he has yet to find the clock that the staff use to schedule examinations. The bright fluorescent lights keep the building clear to see and navigate, and if the patients weren't constantly on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion, they'd probably never sleep.

There's no real punishment to walking around the hospital. If you behave, the doctors assume that the most you'll do is walk a couple of feet before retreating back. The boy has earned their trust, and uses it as an excuse to sneak in the staff room when no one is there, and steal novels out of their bags. The words here are so different from the ones he's used to reading, much shorter and abstract. There's no formula to accompany them, so Keito pilfered a dictionary. In time, words like  _ enzyme _ and  _ cardiac arrest _ rescinded for words like  _ compassion _ and  _ devotion. _ Words like  _ family _ gain a new meaning, one that goes beyond  _ a unit of people living together, often related by blood. _

The boy learns that names have meanings. He stops calling himself  _ 0110 _ and begins to think of himself as  _ Keito _ , the name his parents had called him. He feels a bit less lonely when he does.

After a year, he finds a 'manga', and becomes hooked. It's amazing to him, how the same skills employed to make those diagrams in the medical textbooks can be used to convey such emotion. From manga he learns how to draw.

That's the reason he's sneaking around now, clutching a stack of books to his chest. There are technically no shadows in The Hospital, but Keito's eyes, worn down by the constant abuse of the fluorescent lights, feel that he's just wandering through one big shadow. He's a couple of doors from his own room when a quaint voice calls out to him:

"You there," a coughing fit lasting ten seconds, "come here."

He's no reason to obey, that person evidently can't do anything to hurt him, but he still follows their voice into the room. The room is the same layout as his own, the only difference being an IV drip and a cabinet filled to the brim with drugs. The boy on the bed is the most corpse-like he's seen yet, his body straining from the exertion of sitting up.

Keito drops his books on the counter, and moves to put a hand on his shoulder. He sits on the edge of the boy's bed, urging his head up with a pat on the head. He feels like he's the one who's lost for words when the boy lifts his head, and his bangs fall into place.

He shares the same features that every child in The Hospital has: pale skin, dark circles under his eyes, and scars cutting across his skin. He's just another boy in this building, but something about him takes Keito's breath away. His eyes are strikingly blue, honest and searching in a way completely foreign to the vacant stares that surround them. He's a little smaller than Keito, and Keito credits it to the fact that their diet is exclusively serums, and stunted growth is common here. His skin is pale and practically transparent, and it somehow reminds Keito of the porcelain dolls his mother had collected in a cabinet in their dining room. Even the dark circles fail to detract from the beauty of his face as a whole, made up of soft lines and gentle slopes.

He's blushing, as well, a pink watercolor spreading out over the apples of his cheeks. When he tilts his head in question, Keito realizes that he'd been staring, and swings his head back.

There's a whimsical noise at his side, and when Keito turns to look at the boy, he's sees that he's laughing. He's never heard someone laugh before; he'd never guessed that it could be such a beautiful sound.

"You're cute," the boy says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Keito thinks his face hasn't had this much color since before he was brought to The Hospital. The boy grins when he notices, so Keito clears his throat.

"Why did you call me? I could've been a staff member."

"All of the staff members have heavier steps. None of them sneak around."

"Oh… I guess you're right. What's your name?"

"One-nine-one-six," the boy answers immediately, as though he's some sort of machine.

"That's not your name, you know." For emphasis, he pinches 0906's cheek. "My name is Keito — what's yours?"

That lazy amusement from before is replaced with a look of keen interest. "My  _ real  _ name? I'm Eichi."

"Nice to meet you, Eichi," Keito says, and then forces Eichi's hand into a handshake. Eichi twitches back with shock.

"You're not wearing gloves!"

"Neither are you," Keito reminds him, his tone clipped.

"The staff members always wear gloves, I've never touched someone else's bare hand before."

His face betrays his childish wonder as he pulls Keito's hand closer to his face to inspect it. Keito's been one of the staff members' guinea pigs for the better part of his life, but he still finds himself amazed at how bewildered Eichi is at the notion of his bare palm.

He remains still when Eichi's hands travel up his arms, curving over his shoulders and up his neck to cup his cheeks. When he meets Eichi's gaze, those brilliant blue eyes are staring right at him. It's a little scary, feeling so vulnerable around someone, even scarier than having his body diced away at.

"Keito," Eichi whispers, then again, "Keito." His lips curve around the syllables like they're some sort of foreign candy, novel and enticing. "Stay with me; let's read some of your books together."

With no reason to disobey, Keito complies, and for the next hour, they pore over the pages of a manga. Time has always passed like sandpaper on skin in The Hospital, practically non-existent, and for the first time, Keito wishes it'd stay like that.

Their fun is cut short when one of the staff members walks in, her heels clicking against the vinyl floors.

"Oh, 0110."

She clearly looks surprised to see him, and with another patient, no less. It takes a second before she composes herself, reverting back to her stock emotionless expression.

"It's time for 0906's check-up. Run along," she shoos, so Keito gets up to leave, resolving to leave his books with his newfound friend.

He doesn't get very far, though, because two bone-skinny arms wrap around his torso and pull him back on the bed. Keito wrestles out of his grasp only to have a hand grip tightly on his own. Eichi's IV rattles against the bed, and the woman sighs.

Keito turns back to scold him, but finds himself lost for words.  _ No one  _ has  _ ever _ tried to disobey the staff members, definitely not right in front of them like this. But here Eichi is, glaring and holding on right to his friend.

"0906," the staff member warns sharply, but it goes ignored. She's sighs a second time, and adopts a softer tone. "0110 has check-ups too. You can talk with him again later, okay?"

He ignores her, instead speaking to Keito. "Do you promise you'll come back?"

"Yes, of course."

Only then does Eichi relent, letting Keito's hand fall from his grasp and collapsing back into the bed. Keito runs along as told, and for the next couple of hours, all he can think about is the blond boy with dazzlingly blue eyes.

The cycle repeats for the next month or so, Eichi clutching onto Keito every time a staff member comes to examine him. They concede, after a while, and let Keito sit next to Eichi's bed and hold his hands during tests. Eichi's behavior improves noticeably with that.

Eichi seems to go through twice as many tests as Keito does. It takes the doctor ten minutes to sort through a file cabinet before she finds the medication for Eichi's IV, and even then, she still hasn't chosen between three. They both watch as her hand drifts over the packets, and when she lands on the middle one (suspiciously pink) Eichi's face falls. They do the usual tinkering as well, drawing more blood than seems safe, dropping unnamed substances into his right eye only. She drags her finger down the stitches on his cheek, finding that the breaking of skin had extended past where they'd stitched him back together. With no warning, she reaches for her supplies, and sets to work.

Eichi cries out when she puts the needle to his cheek, eyes wide with terror even though he's surely gone through this more than once. She works efficiently, not wasting time on perfecting her craft. When she's done, Eichi's body deflates.

He jolts back into his stick-straight posture when the doctor's arm lands on his shoulder and urges him to turn around. He looks like a deer in the headlights, frozen with his eyes wide in terror. Before the doctor can forcibly get him to cooperate, Keito pulls Eichi into his arms. Eichi calms slightly, enough so that he can pull his shirt off before burying himself in Keito's embrace. What the doctor does isn't quite clear to Keito, but he sees chunks of flesh in her hands when she pulls away, depositing them in a container with embalming fluid. She reaches for a breaker next to it and, almost brazenly, pours its contents onto Eichi's skin. Eichi's body tremors with sobs, his nails digging into Keito's shoulder blades.

When the doctor is done, she exits the room without a word, leaving Eichi to sob in Keito's arms.

~

Two years pass, and they get moved to the same room. In their free time, they come up with stories, full of fantastical things like ice cream and amusement parks. The doctors think that being in each other's company has improved their health.

Twelve year old Eichi is completely stolid when his doctor selects his medicine, and his sobbing when she pours acids over his back has been reduced to whimpering. Keito makes no reaction at all: he can't bear to let Eichi worry about him.

They're lying on Eichi's bed when Eichi suddenly asks: "How did you end up here, anyhow?"

"Someone blackmailed my parents, and then they kidnapped me and brought me here. I don't know, the details are fuzzy."

"Ah, you're lucky." Keito shifts closer to Eichi, silently prodding him to explain. "I was born into a rich family. Unlike you, I've always been sickly; I spent most of my time before coming here in a hospital, anyway. My parents were filthy rich, so they could pay for treatment, but they just didn't want me. They were ashamed at having such a weak son whose only purpose in life was to drain the funds. They sold me off to The Hospital, and then probably never thought about me again."

"Oh," Keito says simply. It hurts to admit, but Eichi's story explains a lot, particularly about his obsession with holding on to Keito. He's doing it right now even, gripping Keito's hand with no intention of letting go. "I'm sorry."

"Don't pity me."

"What do you want me to say? You deserve it?" He buries his head in Eichi's shoulder. "That's just… despicable."

"I guess I can't blame you. Honestly, I pity you. My life has always been like this, but you had to be ripped apart from people who love you. I couldn't even imagine."

He's right, painfully so, but Keito pushes the familiar resurgence of melancholy back, and instead meets Eichi's gaze as he replies.

"I have you now."

That doe-eyed look is probably the most precious thing on the planet, Keito decides, watching Eichi's expression brighten with reverence.

It takes another year before they properly say  _ I love you _ to each other, holding each other's skinny bodies to their own as they try to ignore the  _ beeps  _ of Eichi's heart rate monitor.

~

At sixteen, their relationship is well-established, so Keito doesn't hesitate to slip behind Eichi when he finds him reading in bed, pressing his lips to the exposed scars at Eichi's nape. Eichi shivers with delight, putting the book aside so that he can take the arms wrapped around him into his own, hugging it to his body. Eichi holds Keito's hand to his face, presses featherlight kisses to his palm. When he drags his tongue down the line of Keito's thumb, Keito nips at his neck, and they get lost in each other's rhythm.

"Missed you," Keito sighs into Eichi's skin, red under his touch. Eichi hums affirmatively, lapping his tongue around the tip of Keito's index finger. "Waiting for you to get out of quarantine was hell."

"Quarantine is  _ so _ much worse when you're used to cuddling with your boyfriend in bed. Before it was just  _ eh, guess I'm here now,  _ but now…"

"Sorry," Keito mumbles, but he doesn't sound very sorry when he's latching onto the skin right under Eichi's ear.

"It's —  _ nngh _ — fine. It's better to have something to look forward to, anyway." Keito feels Eichi's smile against his palm. "And do you think they'll care about me having hickies?"

"Doesn't matter. If they can leave marks on you, then so can I."

Eichi laughs. "Would you let me take a chunk of your flesh, then? So that I can always keep a part of you with me."

"What? No, that's creepy."

"I'm serious, Keito." His voice drops, a familiar inflection that twists Keito's stomach. "You understand, don't you?"

Keito  _ does _ understand, but that doesn't stop him from being scared.

"What good would a chunk of flesh even do for you? You have the real thing right here."

His aim is to get Eichi to relax and drop it. Eichi keeps pushing him.

"Say, Keito, what if someone came here and offered to let you escape this place, but you had to leave me behind? What would you do?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous."

" _ Keito, _ " Eichi's tone is a sharp reprimand.

"It's a stupid question."

"I'm being serious." Keito can't see his face, but he can make a fair guess going off his tone. His voice is gravelly and direct, but it trembles over the syllables.

"Shut up." He leans away from Eichi, forcing him to turn over so they can look at each other. "You're being so annoying — you always are! Don't you trust me?"

"I don't—"

"Stop interrogating me! Are you suggesting that I leave you? Fine then!"

He pushes Eichi away, accidentally knocking him off the bed and probably ripping his IV. At any other time, he'd be rushing to Eichi's side, but now, fueled with the adrenaline of the fight, he simply storms away.

They ignore each other for the next week, even going as far as closing the curtain that separates the two halves of the rooms. The Hospital feels a bit colder when there's no one to hold, and the tests register and twice as painful when you don't have someone waiting to comfort you. In that time, the doctors extend the stitches over Keito's forehead, and his dark circles become more prominent than before. He tries not to think about Eichi.

Of course, he feels bitter about their fight. Eichi had been pushing him too hard, expecting too much of Keito and then giving him too little faith in return. Keito came when Eichi was all alone, and held his hand, and stuck with him. Wasn't that enough? Why did he need to keep pressing?

(In the recesses of his mind, Keito  _ does  _ understand, and that's what scares him. He thinks of Eichi as a child, being sold off by his parents and left all alone in a laboratory where he was nothing more than a toy to experiment on, and then thinks of the current Eichi, constantly paranoid about Keito leaving him, always pushing him to reaffirm his loyalty — and it  _ makes sense. _ But now that he's on the wrong side of the coin, he's terrified of doing one wrong thing and pushing Eichi to hurt him. Or, perhaps worse, hurting Eichi.)

So when Eichi finally sneaks over to Keito's bed to burrow himself in Keito's arms, Keito doesn't even try to feign indifference. He lets Eichi tuck himself under his arm, feeling the heat of Eichi's tears against his shirt's collar.

"I—I'm sorry, I—" He's practically wailing, sputtering through apologies that Keito doesn't even want to hear at this point. "I trust you, I— I really do, but—" a gravelly inhale, "—I just got so scared, and I— I thought you'd do what they did, even though you— you'd never. I'm just—  _ sorry.  _ I'm so sorry."

"I know, I know." Keito dips his head, cheeks now tear-streaked, into Eichi's hair. "I…  _ I _ was scared— I thought you were… you were beginning to think of me like— like them. I can't— I couldn't stand to see you hurt, I'd never want to…" He sniffles violently. " _ Please _ trust me. I want to— I want to hold you again."

Eichi nods against his chest, bringing a hand up to stroke Keito's back. They ride out their wave of emotions in each other's arms, and when they can speak without stuttering over their words, they whisper little declarations of love into each other's ears like secrets. Keito hears it loud and clear, and speaks again, a voice of confident reassurance:

"I won't leave."

~

When they're eighteen, Keito is the one who asks Eichi to cut out a chunk of his flesh. Now adults, they've graduated into the role of nurses, taking care of the children but never experimenting on them. Unlike their seniors, they call the children by their names. Perhaps it's comforting, being taken care of by someone with a similar constitution. The children don't scorn them like they do with the other senior staff members, who tear apart at their bodies and call it necessary even though they live like gods.

Some of the especially small children think of them as parents. When compared to all the broken people around them, their relationship is thriving, so it can't be a surprise that they begin to operate as a unit.

_ "Papa, are you sure that Daddy is okay?" _

No one is, but Keito doesn't tell them that. Instead, he puts on a smile and calls Eichi over, letting him charm them into smiling like he and Keito never did at their age. They leave their door open at night, a welcome place for the kids to come during their frequent nightmares. It's not uncommon for a child or three to be sandwiched between the two of them.

Keito wants to marry Eichi for real. His dream, the embarrassing one he keeps to himself, is to one day get out of The Hospital, and get a big, open house with Eichi. The children could come live with them, playing in the backyard and being tucked into bed with a kiss on the forehead, something the senior staff members would never do. When he tells Eichi, the blond laughs, and then admits that he shares the same dream.

So when he asks Eichi to take a chunk of his flesh, he doesn't think it should be surprising.

"Are you sure? You're not asking this because you feel pressured, right?"

Keito pulls Eichi close and kisses his forehead.

"You haven't pushed me to do it for two years. This is my own choice."

"Yes, but… why?"

"I want you to be able to hold onto a piece of me. I think it'll give me peace."

Nodding, Eichi leans on his toes to kiss Keito's cheek.

Later, having snuck away to one of the abandoned rooms on the upper floors (one that  _ has windows _ — what a luxury) they prepare in a comfortable silence. Keito lies on the room's bed, shirtless. He watches Eichi prepare the instruments, a pleasant smile on his face. It's almost as though he's cooking Keito dinner, and the thought is so domestic that he can't help blushing.

Even after all these years, it still hurts when he feels the blade digging into his skin. It's a different pain, though, because he's doing this for Eichi. Eichi could tear up every inch of his body, and Keito would probably thank him. As a distraction, he watches Eichi's face, scrunched up and focused entirely on the task at hand. He looks beautiful, he always does, but there's a difference between passive observation and adoration. Like when Eichi tucks his hair behind his ear and licks saliva from his lips and it immobilizes Keito. On reflex, he digs his fingers into Eichi's hair, whimpering softly.

Eichi doesn't speak until he's done, and Keito's flesh is safely tucked away in a vial containing embalming fluids. He's replacing his gloves and preparing to tend Keito's wound when he finally starts talking.

"Pulling on my hair, huh? You might get a demerit, flirting with a nurse who's on duty."

"Shut up," Keito huffs, stretching back to let Eichi work. "I'm not the one who always makes a point to bend over in the medicine storeroom."

"It's not my fault that the drugs are always on the lowest shelf," Eichi reasons with a knowing grin. "And having lascivious thoughts about a coworker, that's a second demerit."

"Fine, fine," Keito deadpans.

When Eichi's finally done bandaging Keito, he's pulled down on the bed, tucked against Keito's side. Keito brushes his nose against Eichi's hairline, feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

"Do you believe me now?"

He doesn't need to say what he's referring to; it takes Eichi a minute to respond, relaxing fully into Keito's grasp and sighing.

"I do."

~

They completely lose their virginity when they're nineteen. Eichi's sitting on top of Keito, licking and biting at the curve of his neck. When he leans up, Keito gets a clear look at his face, and has to restrain himself from getting too sentimental. (The last time they tried to have sex, they ended up crying in each other's arms because Eichi had done something that reminded Keito of how much he loved him.) It's not like he needs to put effort into being aroused, anyhow. Not when Eichi is writhing on his lap, face red and vulnerable as Keito's hand slips under his scrubs to grope his chest.

Keito's free hand ends up in Eichi's grasp — where it belongs, it seems — who sucks on the skin of his palm to shut himself up. The hand on Eichi's chest slips lower, heading towards his waistband, when Eichi speaks up.

"Are you sure you want to?"

"I have been for a while." He squeezes Eichi's thigh and earns a moan. "Are you?'

"I am, I just… I don't want to drag you in—"

Keito shuts him up by pushing his thumb past Eichi's lips, hooking it over his bottom row of teeth and pulling Eichi down into a kiss. The rest of the night fades into a blur of nothing but  _ Eichi, _ so soft and strong and hot when Keito takes him. Eichi's overgrown nails dig into his back, but Keito can't find himself minding as he loses himself between Eichi's thighs.

He likes it, being completely connected to Eichi, a gentle reassurance that they won't be leaving each other's sides anytime soon.

~

They are twenty-four when they leave The Hospital for the first time. Keito can't remember the details when he wakes up in a bed that must belong to a king — all he remembers is shouting and children crying and Eichi holding his hand.

Someone who looks like a doctor is leaning over him, looking genuinely relieved.

"You're awake," he chirps, beaming down at Keito. "Do you—"

"The children, where are they? Let me see them, please," Keito implores, forcing himself to lean into a sitting position. "Hana-chan needs her medicine, and Yuki—"

"They're in the pediatric ward. Don't worry, they're safe."

"And Eichi? He needs—"

"I'm here, Keito."

Keito's head whips back to see Eichi, half-asleep in the bed next to his own. Another nurse stands over him, and Keito marvels at this reality where people who are on the verge of death are the minority. Eichi's smiling contentedly, his hand reaching across the distance between their beds. Keito meets him midway, leaning precariously over the edge of his bed to press a kiss to Eichi's knuckles. He puts thoughts of his parents, Eichi's parents, and all the staff members who tormented them aside, and simply holds onto Eichi.

"I'm here," he repeats back, and then smiles. "And I'm not going anywhere."

**Author's Note:**

> My head is throbbing ahwbwb


End file.
